Okay...okay...I know I've been slacking off on the postings. I feel totally guilty and actually I think my guilt ridden state has induced a sort of writers block, as I have had the toughest time deciding what to write about lately. Its not for lack of subject matter - trust me, they have been keeping me fully supplied with subjects, and well...matter. Loads of matter. Especially the stinky kind, but I digress.
I actually have had the last two weeks off, and have been hangin' out with the kids doin' all sorts of funtime summer business. How did you score two weeks off, you ask? Well, I decided to hang up the proverbial hat (or scalpel, if you please) and look for a different line of work. After years of hefting bodies, risking cutting myself while working with a scalpel in a slippery body cavity, and being hours on my feet hunched over while wearing layers of hot protective clothing, I decided that even though I love my job, the risks aren't worth it. The formalin risk alone has been really bugging me lately. There is enough cancer in my family to make you not want to push it working around that stuff all day long. So I got another job...I start tomorrow.
As far as the kids are concerned, they seemed to have decided to take on a new job as well. Lets call it Industrial Waste Delivery. The fun game lately has been taking off all of our clothes during nap and nighttime and either peeing or pooping in the crib. Yeah...fun stuff. Here's a little story to wet your whistle: Scene: Afternoon in the Dink house, babes are in bed sleeping. C goes upstairs to take a peek. B is sitting at the kitchen table reading a magazine. C comes tearing into the kitchen. C - "We have a problem" B - "What do you mean 'we have a problem'?" C - "I just looked into the kids room and Nixon is sleeping with a turd next to him." B - "A what?" C - "A TURD...you know - POOP!" (Done in a raised hissing whisper) B - "How in the heck did that happen??" C - "He is naked with a poopy diaper in his crib with him, and a turd laying on the mattress." B - "Well, now what?"
A little background is needed here. Nixon had been having terrible nights sleeping and had been waking up and crying. He also had been emptying all of his crib items out onto the floor and then crying to have them back...at three AM! We finally put up a crib tent to keep him and all of his stuff in the crib at night - Bingo...problem solved; accept that you can no longer get into his crib with out unzipping the thing - and it is loud. With all of the nighttime activity the kid was pooped (no pun intended) and we absolutely did not want to wake him twenty minutes into naptime - for his sake or ours.
To make a long story short, I managed to slowly peel the zipper back enough to reach in and grab the diaper and the turd, but the turd had left a skid mark on the mattress. I finally managed to sneak a towel into his bed and cover the skid, and its a good thing too because later I looked in and Nixon had rolled over and was sleeping on top of the towel. Can you believe I managed all of that without waking either baby? I think I deserve an award!